This
week’s Torah reading potion is called “Chayei Sarah” or literally “Sarah
lives.” Yet, it is in this
parasha that Sarah dies. Her
time on earth is over and Sarah breathes her last. This matriarch of the faith and wife of
Avraham passes from this world to the next in the second verse of the
reading. The rest of the
portion is about life after death.
Or more aptly it is about life after the death of Sarah.
Don’t
fail to notice the few verses after Sarah’s death is recorded. These two verses describe the mourning
of Avraham and the steps he took to insure a proper burial and a proper
memory of Sarah. The scriptures
emphatically state that this passing of Avraham’s love grieved him,
as it would anyone who looses a close relative or friend. This is just more proof that Avraham is
human, just like you and me. Anyway,
after Avraham’s time of mourning he takes the necessary steps to replace
this mother figure in his home by finding a wife for his son Yitz’chak.
The story of Avraham’s family continues and the blessing of a
wife for the promised son is provided.
Avraham then passes away and so the parasha “Chayei Sarah” ends
with Yitz’chak taking his new bride into his mother’s tent to continue
the family line.
Ruling
and Guidelines – 2 ways to teach
The
Torah has predominately two ways of teaching – direct commands and indirect
principles. First is the
direct commandment. This
is the “thou shalt” and the “thou shalt not” statements found throughout
the scriptures. Direct
commandments are mostly from the Almighty to His people Israel. They are specific in context – meaning
these commands either point a person to a correct action or they point
a person away from an incorrect action.
These instructions leave little room for discussion and are either
followed or dismissed by the believer.
Also, these direct commandments are often things that are not
easily understood. Sometimes
these are guidelines that simply don’t make any sense, while some direct
commands make perfect sense. A
few examples of some direct commandments are as follows:
“Do
not murder,” Shemot (Exodus) 20:13
“Do
not steal,” Shemot (Exodus) 20:15
“Remember
the Sabbath day by keeping it holy,” Shemot (Exodus) 20:8
Indirectly
direct
While
most of the direct commandments in the scriptures are for all believers,
some are given specifically to certain people at certain times. For example Yahweh specifically told Noach
to build the ark – he did not tell you to do so. But, a person can learn many lessons from
studying the account of Noach and the ark. This is the second way the Torah teaches
through – indirect principles.
Indirect principles are often subtle messages that always support
direct commandments. Indirect
principles are just as important as the direct commandments, yet they
are implied through examples and accounts instead of given through straight
statements. These principles usually stress the heart
of the issue. They are
typically communicated through Biblical stories of real people, living
their real lives, in this real world.
Furthermore,
the Messiah used indirect principle teaching through His parables.
Indirect principles and the Messiah’s parables will always point
to a direct commandment and therefore will NEVER lead a person to disobey
a direct commandment of the Bible. Indirect principles are taught throughout
the pages of the scriptures, teaching man how to correctly follow many
of the direct statements. Many
times these principles fill in the blanks left by generations of time
that has passed since the Torah was given until today.
For
example, the Torah does not specifically address the issue of heating
a baby bottle full of milk in the microwave on Shabbat.
(Honestly there weren’t baby bottles or microwaves when Moshe
received the Torah but this is still a valid issue)
Anyway, go ahead and search the scriptures for yourself and you
won’t find a commandment on heating up a baby bottle.
Nevertheless, the Torah does say that a person should “not
light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day” in Shemot
35:3. The believer must decide if using a microwave
or connecting an electrical circuit is lighting a fire. Also, the Torah does teach that a person
should not cook on the Shabbat, “And he said unto them, This
is that which the Yahweh hath said, Tomorrow is the rest of the holy
Sabbath unto Yahweh: bake that which ye will bake to day, and seethe
that ye will seethe; and that which remaineth over lay up for you to
be kept until the morning,” Shemot 16:23.
So through these few verses you can see the dilemma.
For a person that truly desires to follow the precepts of the
Torah a decision must be made on what exactly is cooking and what exactly
is lighting a fire. Using
the principles of sustaining life, correct Shabbat keeping and preparation,
and the greater and the lesser can help a person make a confident decision
on whether or not heating a baby bottle on Shabbat is kosher.
Just
think about another - imagine you are studying monkeys.
If you wanted to know all about monkeys you would not just read
a book discussing what monkeys do and what monkeys don’t do.
You would probably take a trip to a local zoo or maybe to Africa
and observe the monkeys in action.
Observation of interaction teaches much, whether it is monkeys
or humans. Have you ever sat on a park bench and
watched people interact at a mall or shopping center? There is a great deal to be learned through
the lives of other people. For
this purpose stories of actual people, struggling with issues of faith,
are found all throughout the Bible.
Let’s now take a minute and learn some principles from this Avraham
and this parsha.
Avraham
provides us an example
Take
the idea of direct commands and indirect principles and look at this
week’s reading. If you glance at this section carefully
you will find no direct “thou shalt” or “thou shalt not” statements. What is found all through this portion
are numerous principles. Let’s
discuss one of these now. Let’s
discuss what we can learn about Avraham and his loss.
The
scriptures say little about what Avraham did but what the Bible does
say is that he took time to grieve his loved one. This simple, yet meaningful act of mourning
could be overlooked, but let’s not do that. Let’s see what we can learn from Avinu
Avraham about how to handle a loss.
“Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old.
She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan,
and Avraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her.
Then Avraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the
Hittites. He said, “I am an alien and a stranger
among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury
my dead,” Beresheet (Genesis) 23:1-4.
1)Avraham
took time to mourn and weep. He
showed feelings and emotions and did not allow other people to stop
him from letting it all out. After
any type of loss: be it of a job, a loved one, a pet, a relationship,
or a death there must come a time to mourn.
When life is changed forever by a passing or a situation, it
never returns to normal. Normal is now redefined, as a person once
wrote, “you never get over a loss, you simply get through it.” Yahshua the Messiah felt compassion towards
the crowds that followed his teachings. And He also showed emotions when Lazarus
died. The shortest verse
in the Bible is written as the Messiah’s response to the loss of his
friend. “Yahshua wept,” Yochannan 11:35.
While
mainstream Christianity, and society in general teach people to “get
over” their emotions and feeling, the scriptures teach that there is
a “time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
Ecclesiastes 3:4. People
came to Yahshua and admitted their pain and their sicknesses; they did
not try to hide them. You
know, there is a lingo of phrases that is used at funeral homes and
cemeteries, like “at least she’s in a better place,” that are spoken
not to necessarily comfort but to bring the time of mourning to an end. Mourning and healing takes time and should
not be rushed. When you
have a tragedy in your life you should mourn the loss and work out your
emotions and feelings. Otherwise
they will grow and fester until the situation worsens.
Whatever is swept under the carpet usually piles up and is tripped
over later.
2)Avraham’s
mourning came to an end. Just
as the time of grief had to begin it must also come to a conclusion. Judaism teaches many things about mourning
that benefit manhood today. For
example in Judaism there is something called “sitting Shiva.” Shiva is from the Hebrew number for seven
and represents seven days.
Shiva
is the seven days specifically designated for mourning.
After the loss of a loved one, people of a congregation spend
seven days with the closest family members.
This time is spent mostly just being present to serve and love,
not pressuring those grieving. The basis for Shiva is found in Job 2:13.
The
Talmud says “do not comfort the bereaved with their dead still before
them.” Or in other words,
it is inappropriate to offer words of condolence to mourners until after
the funeral. (Most Jewish
funerals are held within 24 hours after the death, so people should
withhold words of condolence during the time of shock that a family
goes through.) Judaism
also upholds “sheloshim” or the thirty days directly after the loss. During these thirty days mourners can
return to life as usual, yet mourning continues with the recitation
of the “kaddish” prayer and other specific actions. For the loss of a parent or child this
can last up to one year. The
point of all of this is that Judaism, much unlike Christianity, has
a designated and specific plan and program for people who experience
a loss.
3)Avraham
received his blessing. It wasn’t until Sarah died that Avraham
began his search for a bride for his son.
At Sarah’s passing, the mother figure in Avraham’s home was taken
away. The Talmud says that
the Shekinah glory of Yahweh left the camp of Avraham when Sarah died
and the Shekinah glory returned when Rivkah entered the camp. You see, Yitz’chak’s wife Rivkah filled
the void left when Sarah died.
Rivkah
was the blessing Avraham received for mourning his loss.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” said
the Messiah in Mattitiyahu 5:4.
Mourning or grieving any type of loss brings a blessing.
Mourning simply brings the blessing of comfort and shalom. And people cannot be comforted until they
mourn, so let it out! Romans
12:15 tells us to help others receive the blessing of comfort. It says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
Make it personal
Take a minute now and reflect on numbers 1-3 and think about
you and your life and your pain. Do you have hidden hurts or pains that
need to be mourned? Hurt
people just hurt more people – wounded people wound people. So do you have open wounds caused by a
loss or a relationship? Have
you taken time to mourn and then come to an end of your grief? The blessing that is received when a person
deals with the feelings and emotions of grief are extraordinary. Avraham received a burial plot in the
Promised Land and a daughter for his son.
How have you been blessed by mourning? Is there a loss in your life that needs
to be mourned so you can be blessed?
To help your time of mourning for whatever that needs to
be dealt with use the following prayer.
This prayer is called the “kaddish:”
“Exalted and hallowed be Yahweh’s greatness
In this world of Your creation
May Your will be fulfilled
And your sovereignty revealed
In the days of our lifetime
And the life of the whole house of Israel
Speedily and soon
And say, Amen.
May You be blessed forever,
Even to all eternity.
May You, most Holy One, be blessed,
Praised, and honored, extolled, and glorified,
Adored and exalted above all else.
Blessed are You,
Beyond all blessings and hymns, praises and consolations
That may be uttered in this world.
And say, Amen.
May peace abundant descend from heaven
With life for us and all Israel,
And say, Amen.
May Yahweh, who makes peace in the heights
Bring peace upon us and upon all Israel,
And say, Amen.”
