The Right Way to Say
"I'm Sorry"
truth about repentance
By Daniel Rendelman ~ emetministries@gmail.com

Our modern culture seems to have lost the art of offering an apology. Just last week, shamed professional golfer Tiger Woods said in a press conference that he was “sorry” for ruining his marriage and career through infidelity. The Toyota Company has taken full-page ads in major Japanese newspapers to apologize for massive vehicle recalls. And musician John Mayer recently issued a confession on the Twitter website for using the ‘N’ word during an interview with Playboy Magazine. From these examples, it would seem that a proper apology includes having a press conference, advertising, or using social media. Is this really how a person should say, “I’m sorry?”

The Bible makes a clear distinction between the simple regret of getting caught and truly making changes to amend behavior. According to the Bible, it is not enough to just ask for forgiveness. True repentance is sorrow expressed through change. This is called "teshuvah" in Hebrew. This ancient word is used throughout the Bible to describe the process of totally abandoning an evil act and taking direct efforts to correct the wrong. Teshuvah includes regret and sorrow but does not stop there. It doesn’t just promise to do better next time; it rights the wrong and really does do better next time. “Repent! Turn from your idols and renounce all your detestable practices,” Ezekiel 14:6. Notice this verse includes repenting and turning from sin. The word for “repent” and “turn” in this passage is “shuvah."

Thousands of years ago, the Creator gave all mankind specific and direct instructions on how to live a life that is both spiritually and physically fulfilling. This set of loving instructions, much like a blueprint for living, is what the Hebrew people call “Torah.” 1 John 3:4 states that sin results when a person chooses to disobey the Torah. Sin can only be forgiven when a person changes their heart and changes their actions. Its not enough to just apologize.

The Bible suggests a four step path of teshuvah that begins with stopping the action. Acknowledge the sin area and stop the destructive behavior. If, for example, you are stealing, you must stop. You simply cannot continue in sin if you want forgiveness. Then express regret. You should indeed feel regret for your error. It’s wrong to steal. Theft is breaking Torah and hurting others. You should be sorry for the harm you have caused. There should be absolutely NO excuses for the sin – take responsibility and understand how what you have done has caused pain.

Next, verbalize the regret. This doesn’t have to be done at a worship center; it can be done in the confines of your home. Tell the Almighty that you are sorry for whatever you have done wrong. If you need help overcoming the sin or addiction, now is the time to tell someone and seek advice or help. There is power in confessing out loud, as the book of James says, “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed.”
Finally, make a plan. How can you be sure the mistake or sin won’t happen again? Make a practical plan of action. This last step is helping you “make no provision for the flesh” as spoken of in Romans. If you know that certain subjects are sources of conflict or areas of temptation, simply avoid these places. Your plan might include memorizing scripture verses to combat the evil desire.

Real repentance can be regained through looking into the pages of the Bible, following the path of teshuvah, and ignoring the bad examples given by today's fallen.

Here are a few Bible verses to consider on this subject:
• Leviticus 26:40-42, "'But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers--their treachery against me and their hostility toward me, which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies--then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land.”

• Luke 5:32, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

• Ezekiel 18:21-22, “If a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live.”

• Acts 2:38, “Peter replied, ‘Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Y’shua HaMoshiach for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.’”

• Joel 2:12-13, “Even now," declares the YHWH, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to YHWH, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”

• Mark 1:15, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of YHWH is at hand: repent and believe the gospel.”